Their shape-shifting ships patrol the skies
Often sending scouts down the mountains to spy
Some hide inside trees creeping up to the leaves
Others ride on the breeze and into cracks squeeze
Despite their slippery skin they have failed to elude us
And in most places we have rituals to boil these intruders
Yes! Despite their slick membranes we have managed to catch them
And torturing these creatures has become quite the fashion
I hear you cry “What about love, compassion?”
And to that I say “It’s revenge for a thrasin’!”
They’ve killed many a man for no good reason
And cordon off the roads in the wintry season.
They are mean, they are evil, they’re in league with the shark
And they block out the sun and make it all dark
Their troops can be found on the beaches like D-day
Or inside your very own sink, bath or bidet
But don’t be alarmed by these ominous creatures
For I have failed to mention any of their positive features
They had a hand in the process of our evolution
You could even say that they were the solution
For if this race left they would be missed
By nobody at all because we wouldn’t exist
I cannot be certain of their political priorities
But they represent in our government with a seventy percent majority
I do know for sure that their goal isn’t to slaughter
After all, why would it be? I’ve just been talking about water!
March 2014